The Life and Times of this Old Git

Location: Teignmouth, Devon, United Kingdom

I'm married with two grown up children and four grandchildren, My wife of 47 years is Sue and we are the same age. My two children are Pamela (blogging occasionly under and Roy,who was recently Paralysed from the waist down due to an Absys on his Spine. My 4 grandchildren are (oldest first) Gavin, Hayley, Thomas,and Zoe. Sue and I are both retired and we're disabled too, her with a badly Arthritic back and spine, me with lung (COPD) and Heart problems.I have always loved Fishing (all sorts) Sue started fishing with me about 8 years ago, now she really enjoys it too. We both love m'cycles and m'cycling, Sue owns and rides her own bike which is a Custom 1981 250 Honda.I own a 1979 Honda CX500. We are both members of this motorcycle club ( view or join our club on or see my blog post Dec 2007 blog "Getting old, never", of course we're badly resticted now due to our illness, only riding in really good weather.Just over three years ago we lost our best friend and Baby Mojo the border Collie, Gone but never forgotten. Please feel free to use any of our photo's but do let me know you have used them, thank you.

Thursday, January 31, 2008


Here are a few photo's of some of my favourite groups or artists. Below "The beatles".
Below of "Silence is golden" fame "The Tremeloes".
Below one of my very favourite artists whose hits were "The Story of my Life", "Starry Eyed" and kiddies favourite "The Runaway Train" of course its "Michael Holiday".

Today my blog is going to be about music, in fact my music. What I mean by that is either my favourite or memorable music tracks. I did intend to do this as a "my top 10" or "20", then I realised its virtually impossible for me to choose that few tracks. My taste in music is extremely varied both in Artists and styles. In varieing degrees I like Popular,Rock,Reggae,Folk,Classical, Ballads, Country, just a bit of almost everything (sorry my pet hate is Opera). So, then the first of my very favourites are the "Beatles" and before you all groan, you have to see the variety of music they played. They wrote, played, and sang all their early work. As they progressed so, obviously did their style, using extra's, producers, orchestra's, etc. When you look at their work its so varied, starting with early rock, then pop, ballads, then bringing new ideas and odd things like "Strawberry Fields", I am the Walrus"and loads of others (some drug induced I know).The compilation that was put together as "The Beatles Love songs" is one more feather in the cap and has some wonderfull tracks. There is no way I could pick an individual track so my No 1. is "The Beatles" as a whole.
Next. Because in about late 1959-60 I bought a little Chrystal radio from a school friend, these kept hunting in and out of signal, I bought it especially to hear the top 20 on Radio Luxenburg on sunday nights, the very first no1 record played on the first night I listened was by the "Everly Brothers" and was called "Cathy's Clown", that therefore has to be high on the list.
Next because it was the very first record I ever bought (with my own wages).Is "Good Timin" by Jimmy Jones.
My next pick is one that is a real favourite because I watched his TV show on our first brand new set, its "The Story of my Life" by the late great "Michael Holiday".
The next, which sort of rounds out a few (5) of my top tracks is, one I really like because Sue,Me and a friend Pete Dale used to go every other week to a show in the clubs in Birmingham. it was either "la dolca Vita" or "the cavendish" clubs, this I think was around 68-69. We saw "Peter and Gordon", "Frank Ifield"(good), "Billy J Kramer & the Dakotas" (he was awful) and lots more. The group that stood head and shoulders above the rest, when on stage you hardly knew it wasn't the record, were "The Tremeloes" they had then not long brought out their latest record which was, and is my No5 "Call me number one".
I will continue this in a later blog, meanwhile please either do your own favourites on a blog or leave your top 5 in my comments.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


Today both Sue and I are starting to feel a little better, so we decided to go to the Caravan/camping show at Westpoint showground near Exeter. Last night some friends from our camp site had phoned (Dave/Margaret) , they said it was a good weather forecast and would come down here from Bristol for the day. It was then decided to meet them at the show, this we did and spent a nice couple of hours inside. When we came out at around 2.00pm it was a beautiful, fairly warm, sunny afternoon so a visit to the sea side at Exmouth was agreed.When we arrived we found it an awful job to park, there were just so many many people out doing as us and enjoying the spring like day. A walk along the promenade and a seat, a cuppa, a sandwhich and watch the world go by, with friends made a lovely day. Only problem was, we forgot to bring Sue's camera to record our day, hence no photo's.
These we took last week.
Above one of my favourite wild flowers the Cowslip, Cultivated varieties just don't have that same beautiful scent.
These gardens are just outside of our favourite watering hole the "Kings Arms"here in Teignmouth town.
Above, Cowslips out, in among the Pansy's and Primula.
These pictures were taken just outside Torquay last Sunday 20th, spring is coming early to Devon again. Yesterday we passed and a couple were actually fully out.
Next week I will post a few pictures of the Crocus out in our local park, and any other flowery signs of spring.

Old Folks

An older couple goes to the doctor wanting a baby. The doctor says take a Phial go home & bring back a sample in the morning.

The husband went back to the doc after a few days and said, "I tried it with my right hand then my left, then she tried with her dentures in & out, we really struggled but still we just couldn't get the bottle open!"

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Today is indeed a very very sad day for us, today we lost Mojo a very special family member to us. She has been a major part of our lives for nearly fourteen years. She was special for lots of reasons, she was so easy to train and teach tricks. During all the years we had her we never new her to be bad tempered or nasty to people, other dogs or animals. Over all these years she accompanied us on hundreds of fishing trips, dozens of holidays and absolutely every where we went in the car. Every single person that new her really adored her, over the last few weeks when she was only able to walk short distances, people kept stopping us in the street asking of her whereabouts and health. Here she is just weeks after first coming to us.
Below, The love of her life, Fishing, she would sit alongside me for anything up to 13 hrs at a time. She was never taught this, she just loved being by the water watching me, no matter if other dogs or humans came she would just totally ignore them.The really strange thing is (and I've shown this lots of people) when I got out my flask for a drink she would get up go to the waters edge and take a drink. When I got up walked to the hedgerow to take a leak I would look around and there she would be, just yards away taking a wee too. When at the caravan we spent hours fishing by the lake, Sue would bring down sandwiches and a flask, then call Mojo to go up into the adjacent dog walking field and do her business, at this Mojo would jump up go full speed round the lake up into the field, do the nessessary then come tearing back to me, all this before Sue had even reached the field, terrified she would miss something !!!.

Below, Alert as ever and very photogenic, taken when she was probably around 7-8 years old.
Below, The very last picture we ever took of her, by now her back end was starting to be troublesome to her, this was probably mid Oct last year.
Below, again late 2007, as she got older she suffered with her big coat in very hot weather, hence the brolley and a bit of welcome shade.

Below, one of the last pictures taken of her, this was taken in Sept/Oct 2007.

This blog I'm sure has been very boring to a few of you but we really don't care this is our Tribute to a loving loyal family member, MOJO we will always love and remember you, R.I.P.

Sunday, January 20, 2008


This morning when eventually I had shaken myself and had my morning "fix" of oxygen, Sue and I decided to go for a walk. Well it was Murky, Drizzly and not that nice, but off we went, after a short walk into the town centre and on toward the sea front the sky started to clear a little. We then saw a trawler negotiating the narrow river mouth channel on his way to unloading his catch. I then thought it could be a blog in the making.By the time we had traversed the point and made our way to the river beach the trawler had docked on the fish Quay. I should probably tell you now we have three of these little trawlers based here in Teignmouth, this one TH117 had just been out since early morning fishing for Sprats. As a by the way I will just mention this little bit of useless information, trawlers are registered in their home ports and carry the first and last letters of their port town ie Teignmouth is TH, Brixham is BM, and so on.So the deck hands soon had the boxes lined up in the hold, the stacker truck bringing all they needed. Within 20-25 the little boat had unloaded its fishy contents of 90% Sprats, with just a spattering of other fish and a couple of crabs etc.The fish market lorry was expected to arrive and whisk off its contents any minute, is that fresh or what?.
Apologies for the picture quality, but it was very dull and dismal. Half an hour later the sun came out !!, so it was off to our favourite sea front cafe for a mug of tea and watch the world go by.
Above, this picture shows the local trawler alongside our little fish quay, the stacker truck bringing more boxes for filling.
Here lies the Trawler at the fish quay about to start unloading its nearly full hold of fish.
Above, The main deckhand preparing the boxes ready to receive todays catch of Sprats.
Above, The deck hand loads the boxes onto the winch, then up they come.
Above swinging full boxes out of the hold onto the fish Quay, quite a nice catch for a days work.
Above a box of Sprats, straight from the trawler couldn't be much fresher, at this stage a bit of local knowledge and a pound buys a bucket full, done in a tomato sauce what a treat.

Joke of the day.
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she'd just gotten married -- for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"Oh, He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting, " the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40s, later on a preacher when in her 60s, and now she was in her 80s, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

Friday, January 18, 2008


Today I was browsing a few of my regular blogging sites, also a few new one, when I came upon a Canadian one, who mentioned this word Lurkeing. Apparently (in the blogging world) this word means people like me who pop into loads of different blog sites without leaving a comment, this shows on lots of sites (those that have them) blog counters, but they don't actually know who the visitors are.Now apparently some bloggers have a "anti lurkeing" week, attempting to encourage people to stop and comment. This got me thinking, yes I do personally visit lots of blogs but I only stop and comment very occasionally, so why?. Firstly for me, the time element, to stop and comment on every blog site I enter would leave me no time to write my own. Also the content of that particular entry may not interest you/me. Those sites where you have to enter not only the jumbled letters but log into an account as well I try to avoid, mainly because personally I think it unnessary, and secondly because I have 23 different sign in names and passwords to different things ie Flixter, Google, MSN, Facebook, E-bay, pay-pal it goes on and on, So to sign in on these sites I have to go into my drawer find my book and look up all my log ins(my bloody memory, age is it?) .Now my very very pet hate is (and I NEVER EVER comment on these are) the sites that comments have to be vetoed by the author, ok you may have your reasons for this but they do not wash with me, I believe if your big enough to write a blog you should be big enough to stand critism, (blogger will remove bad language etc) or in the case of some bloggers that are so full of themselves they dont want you to be showing a comment that could lead readers to your own blog. Now I hope this has stirred a few of you out of your chairs enough to, send me some comments PLEASE, I dont mind what you say, but comment.
PS. Does anyone out there know how or if you can put on the old blogger a list of the sites I visit?.


During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," said the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

If this posts joke does not display properly I have redone it three times but dear old blogger wants it this way!!!!.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


Our latest addition is a Model "Conway Corniche" trailer tent, we bought it recently second hand. We thought we would buy one in a 50% share with my adopted son Steve. The idea is to be able to visit other people and places. I expect you all know I have a caravan but its just too big (23ft) for me or Sue to tow, so had to rethink. As it is at the moment due to my breathing and the need for oxygen visiting is at least very difficult. With my emphysema, COPD and sleep Apnea I need approximately 12 to 14 hours oxygen every day, (sleep hours count in this). As you can imagine trying to carry enough cylinders for this amount over a few days is difficult to say the least. For this problem my oxygen suppliers (BOC) have supplied me a machine thats makes my oxygen for me, then I just carry small portable cylinders when away for a few hours. The problems others would have with this machine is the noise, it is quite noisy and is difficult to sleep with.Trying to stay in B&B or hotels would be a no no, so here we are a trailer tent with an electic hook up and the air machine inside the car with a long air pipe to tent, so keeping the machine noise down (hopefully). This set of pictures I "borrowed" from another site, its of the same model.

This is just a very quick blog to tell everyone that this week we have been out and bought ourselves a Second hand Trailer Tent !!!. At the moment we have no photo's of it, as its been too wet to take any, the last thing you need to do with any tent is to put it away wet (mildew & mould).This is a picture of one of the same model as ours.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


Well this is the blog I promised a few weeks ago. Before going any further I have to say that its going to be a very long blog, so please bear with me. Its all about Sue's other paintings, these are the real life ones. Sue started painting around 25 years ago, just after moving into our present house. The first few attempts were mainly of a small size and of no particular subjects. After a while she tried doing larger sizes from 18"x 12" to as big as 30"x 20" (in Oil), mainly of landscapes, these she never really got into so did very little over the next three or four years. When starting again her love of wildlife took over and thats what she began to paint. Her real loves are Elephants, Big cats, lions, Tigers etc and Dolphins. Over the last 15 or 16 years she has probably done about the same amount of paintings as amount of years. She has always led a busy life working full time until recently, as well as being a housewife. Some of these paintings have taken 16 or 17 months to complete!!, some more are not finished even after over two years. Sue has given a few paintings to family and close friends, plus she's sold about 7-8 more.
These are a few I'm about to show you, starting with some early ones, working down to the latest ones.
Please remember these are pictures of paintings and I'm afraid do get spoilt a little by reflections from the flash.
Above "Bluebell Wood" an early framed picture around 20" x 12".
Above, "Anglers Dawn"the last landscape she painted. This one's around the same time and size.
Above "The Family" one of her first forays into both Elephants and larger paintings, 30" x 20".
Above, "Time for a drink" her first attempt at a single Elephant, again in the larger sizes.
Above, her latest (large) Elephant picture "Hurry for a drink" was finished just about 3 years ago.
Above, A framed picture "I'm watching you" was the first Tiger picture she painted.
Above, "Not Happy" was completed in 2003-4 and is a real favourite of mine. (large unframed).
Above, This one "My Baby" is from around 1999-2000 and was the first large mother, cub one she did.
Above, "The Whole Family"is again one of my favourites, this one really suffers from light reflection which is a real pity.
Below, "We're Relaxed" was again one of the last pictures completed in around 2006-7. Sue has lots more that I havn't shown you and at least three more " under construction" at the moment.
Sue has also done a couple of dolphin pictures but as soon as they are finished someone wants them, hence no photo's.
Please leave comments either good or bad.

Native Wisdom

A salesman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when he sees a Navajo man hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, he stops the car and the Navajo man climbs in.

During their small talk, the Navajo man glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them.

"If you're wondering what's in the bag," offers the salesman, "it's a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife."

The Navajo man is silent for awhile, nods several times and says, "Good trade good trade".

Monday, January 07, 2008


During the winter of 1963-4 the weather was some of the worst on record. It was the only time during the last century that for two months solid the temperatures were below freezing. Some parts of Dartmoor in the South West of England were cut off for over EIGHT weeks !!!!.
This blog was actually supposed to be about one of my favourite pubs the "Warren Inn" nrPostbridge, which is deep on Dartmoor.In summer this pub enjoys fabulous panoramic views of the surrounding moorland, and has loads of outdoor wooden benches and tables, from which to admire these stunning views. Inside the Inn, there are two large open fires , one of these has reputedly not been allowed to go out in over a hundred years. Inside is warm, cosy, and the friendly/courteous barstaff attend your every want. Perhaps I might point out here, that I have no connection either monetary or other wise to this establishment.The Ales (some real) are kept well and the food (a lot is home made) is of very good quality and we can fully recommend it. The Inn itself, was cut off up here in 63-64 for around 8-9 weeks because of the huge amounts of snow. The very first time I ever visited the pub was around 1981-2, behind the bar, and all around the walls were pictures of this Inn and surrounding moor during the huge snows, one which showed the only connection with the outside world via the (yellow) air sea rescue helicopter , which was then based in North Devon at Chivenor.From these pictures the owners had made postcards. I actually bought a set of these pictures in their postcards form, these were to be the basis of this blog, unfortunately although I've searched high and low I'm unable to find them. So these photo's are borrowed and the blog is now, as you see it and hopefully still readable. This photo below was taken by Peter Thornhill of Buckfastleigh and shows the frozen over river Dart. This striking image in colour (below) shows the snow here at around 5 to 6 feet deep, judge this by looking at the road sign, in lots of parts of Dartmoor in January (1964) 25 feet drifts were measured
The picture below was taken by a Ken Knott of Exeter who said himself and friends went up onto Dartmoor for the day and built this igloo.
Above, an Eskimo NO, ....this is NOT even the Artic!!! its dear old Devon in that same cold winter, but its not all doom and gloom as these photo's show, some people always finds something good to do no matter what the weather!.
Only 11 miles to Honiton, (check the sign) its a bloody long walk though.Its a shame about the quality of these pics but they are 45 years old!!!.
Below, an awful lot of trains did not reach their destinations, in fact hundreds were cancelled and a few unlucky souls stranded aboard others, fortunately casualties were low on the trains, unlike thousands of livestock that I'm afraid perished that winter.

in the winter of 1963-4 , January was the coldest in Devon since 1814, and nationally has been described as the worst winter since records began (around 1700) that is according to the BBC weather centre. The weather in remote area's such as Dartmoor in the South West were very very seriously hit. This winter was nationaly known as the big freeze, due to its extremes of cold, snow etc. Not only Devon was hit, most of the country ground to a halt, although interestingly enough Scotland was nowhere nearly as badly hit and they suffered only an average winter!!. The weathermen tell us that winters such as this one only come roughly every 250 years (thank goodness) !!. I was but a teenager back in 63-4 so, although I do remember bits of it, mainly from a fun point of view, (we did a lot of sledging ourselves), I was courting (engaged) at the time and worked about 10 or 11 miles away from home. In the factory where we worked, the management supplied coaches picking up us workers and transporting us to work. If I wanted to see Sue during the week I had to either get the coach to work, then after work walk the 2 miles to her house, then walk the 13-14 miles home after seeing her, or bicycle to work, then from work bike to her house, after being kicked out at 10.30 at night bike home.You can imagine the state of the roads in that winter, for walking, biking or the motor vehicle. One night after visiting Sue ( ladies darts) in the local pub in Great Alne (near Alcester) my friend Chris and I were making our way home in the deep snow (on our bikes), pushing most of the time, we reached a part in the small road that was a complete "U" bend in the road. Chris and I at this point parked our bikes and started rolling snow balls, we rolled 8 or 9 of them until they were as tall as us, then pushed them all across the road packing them together with snow , forming a barrier across the road, we then went on our way. In the morning our Works transport picked us up and gingerly picked its way through the snow until rounding a bend and coming....face to face with....our roadblock, oops despite pushing the snow blockade with the coach, overnight it had frozen solid and was totally immovable, so for three days until it thawed we did a four mile detour on our way to work, with us finding it difficult to keep straight faces.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


Here is a Picture of my Daughter Pamela Jane (Story as she was then) at just a few days old.This blog is to celebrate her birthday (43). I'm sure she will really appreciate this blog (I dont think).Pam now lives in Malmesbury,Wilts with husband Wayne (2nd) and her two children who have yet to fly the nest Thomas and Zoe. After finishing this I think I had better turn off the phone, cus when she reads this the air will be blue.(Pams blog address is picture was taken just a few days after bringing her home, she was actually born in the "Monroe Devis maternity hospital" in a little place just outside Stratford called Tiddington. (As was her brother Roy).
Below,Here she is at her Christening, the gown was especially made by my step fathers new wife Jean. This gown was also used for Pams brother Roys, and Pams children were Christened in it too, Pam was then 8 months old. In the background is my uncle Gerald (Gell) looking very thoughtful.
Below Pam in her Pram (perambulator) just a few months old and still ( then) full of fun and laughter.
Below still laughing, sitting (on a poofe) in the front room (we call them a lounge now), at about 3 years old. Note the old TV and a Paraffin room heater, we still have the small round table that the television is on.In the dead of winter we used to light a huge fire on a sunday afternoon and all go in and sit and watch TV, it was really brilliant. I'm afraid to say that even now you really really cant beat an open fire at Christmas.
Pam playing on the lawn of "Rosemont" Hathaway lane, Stratford at around five years old, I must ask her what she had around her neck?.
Seen here in 1975 with brother Roy at Shottery (Junior) C of E School, Stratford, this was the last year they were both at this school together, Pam then moved up to the High school.
Here she is (below) in her last year at the "Hugh Clopton" High School in Stratford upon Avon,(1979)
Pam with me at our caravan site "Mill Park" celebrating my 60th birthday. A good and boozy night was had by all (if I remember correctly).

Today the 5th of January is my daughter pam's birthday (she very very occasionally blogs), she is (or was) FOURTY THREE yes 43 at 3.00AM today.Now I will share a few photo's with you, of her over the years.
This joke again is just a little naughty so be warned.
The golf course.
There were three couples got together to play a round of golf.The couples were English, Irish, and Scottish. It was a very windy day and just as the English wife bends over to tee her ball a huge gust of wind blows her skirt right up over her head, revealing no underwear, "good god woman, why aren't you wearing any knickers"her husband blurts, "You dont give me enough housekeeping to allow me to buy any"replies the wife. Her husband immediately reaches into his pocket pulls out a £50 note saying "for decency's sake buy yourself some new underwear".
A little later in the round a repeat happens this time its the Irish wife's skirt that blows high, again revealing absolutely nothing underneath "Blessed virgin Mary woman! You've no knickers on beejeez and why not". the wife replies "I just cant afford them on the budget you give me", so her husband reaches into his pocket and comes up with a £20 note, saying "for the love of Michael go buy some underwear". On the final 18th hole the wind by now is blowing a gale, so obviously the exact same thing happens, this time to the scottish wife, she fights in vain to keep her dignity but eventually up and over her head it goes, revealing her nudity, "sweet mudder Aggie, where the frig are yer drawers noo"says her husband, the wife explains "Ye dinna gi me eny money ta be able ta affard any the noo". The Scotsman immediately reaches into his pocket saying "fer ta love o' decency, here's a comb tidy yersen oop a wee bit then".

Friday, January 04, 2008


Yesterday the 3rd of January was just a little wild. Our usual sea front walk, had to be done with full winter gear on, totally different from our last stroll that way.The first video shows the front looking toward (holcombe) Dawlish, its here and a little further along that the trains have loads of problems. The sea can throw waves up to nearly 10 metre's high, these wash away the railway line foundations , so stopping trains from running until repaired.On the third clip (as it starts) you can see a train disappearing into the murk. I put on the first clip to show one or two waves just topping the sea wall. The middle short clip is of the sea wall where a walk way juts out into the sea, as the waves hit this they froth the sea up until it looks just like snow!!, the kids agree and spend hours playing, kicking some even rolling in it.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


Christmas has gone for one more year,
Too much food and too much beer,
Going to face facts and go on a diet,
Shh don't tell anyone, do it on the quiet.

This morning the hands of the scales did fly,
Dear oh dear we all did cry,
Half a stone ? not really so bad!,
Though I told a porkie, by just a tad.

The resolutions we made on news years eve,
I intend to keep, this year you do believe?,
No more fags outside by the kitchen door,
No more boozey nights rolling round the floor.

I promised the wife that even I,
May even admit her mother can't fly,
No more jokes about her old broomstick,
Try giving her a kiss without being sick.

But most of all and this is a fact,
To try to use just a little more tact,
Not tell the rozzers their still wet behind the ears,
Cuz a night in the cells only causes tears.

So dear friends just try to be,
A little bit kinder to all you see,
After all it really can only be done,
By you, by me, by everyone.

WARNING.Before reading it this joke is a little naughty.

Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one euro.

Murphy said "hang on, I have an idea". he went to the butchers shop and came out with one large sausage.

Shamus said "are you crazy? now we don't have any money left at all". Murphy said "don't worry just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of jamieson Whisky.

Shamus said "now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money".
Murphy replied, with a smile, "don't worry I have a plan, cheers"
They downed their drinks. Murphy said "ok, Ill stick the sausage through my zipper and you go down on your knees and put it in your mouth,"
The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.

At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy I don't think I can do anymore of this, I'm drunk and my knees are killing me.
Murphy said, "how do you think I feel I lost the sausage in the third pub.