These are classified ads, which were actually placed in an Aberdeen . newspaper:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. FREE PUPPIES.
8 years old. 1/2 Cocker Spaniel,
Hateful little bastard. 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.
Bites!
FREE PUPPIES..
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.
**** And the WINNER is... ****
FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
Subject: Irish Railway The following is an actual exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company. Gentlemen, I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago. Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan -------------------------------- Dear Mr. Finnegan, We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot. Sincerely, Irish Railway Company ----------------------------------- Gentlemen, I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of David, 9th Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That.... gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years! Yours truly, Patrick Finnegan |
4 Comments:
Good to see you are back on the blog, Bob!
There's been a dearth of interesting articles for a while, with you gone.
Cheers!
welcome back to blog land! Thanks for your recent emails. Now that I have a newer computer, I am actually able to open them, lol!
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