What a real Pain.

Hi again, So at last i got the appointment i have been waiting over a year for.My Hip replacement was scheduled for last Tuesday at Torbay Hospital, Devon.We arrived in the middle of the night (7am) then had to queue for 2.5 hrs to see the Anaesthetist who scared us silly (again). We were then sent into a waiting room (12 of us) where one by one all our details were taken. This took 1 more hour, i of course was last again (what a surprise).From there we filed slowly through to a Surgeons office, to be marked ready for the Op.While in there the Surgeon apologise profusely and said "because you have to go into the ICU (itensive Care Unit) after your procedure it looks unlikely you will be operated on today because of a lack of bed space in this unit", (its now 11.00am)adding ".It is just possible though that things could change by 1pm" (some body gonna die or what? sh*t). Then back to the waiting room whare my INR (blood clotting levels, Diabetes COPD etc were checked as i had no Warfarin for 5 days and no Medication at all that day.1 pm came and a nurse gave me a gown and told me to go and get changed as a bed was now available. Then was led down a corridor (arse exposed to the wind) into the room from where i would be called to walk to the Op theatre. After waiting a further 2 +hours (3.15 now) a Surgeon came in saying "I'm afraid there is no bed available after all" as you can well imagine after 7 hours and 15 mins stuck in there i was ecstatic, over the moon and i told him so with expletives like oh shame,damn and blast, well i never (you now the score i'm sure.So here i am home again, wating for at least 2 more weeks as first my INR has to be back in line ready to stop it again 5 days before going in (i'm just so happy and gleeful as you can imagine)

Joke of the day (certainly need one)

 Its time to quit drinking when.....

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom.

Then, nothing. But, after another minute or two, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.

What's all the screaming about in there?" he yells. "You're scaring my customers!"

"I'm just sitting here on the toilet minding my own business," slurs the drunk, "and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my nuts."

The bartender opens the door, looks in, and says, "You're sitting on the mop bucket you idiot!!"